Douchebag Dominants

Many of my rants are about stupid shit that supposedly submissive men do, which especially annoys me because I tend to take it personally. However, there’s plenty of stupid shit dominants do too.

It drives me crazy when dominant people post personal ads in groups that clearly say ‘no personal ads’ in the rules. By blatantly ignoring the rules, they’re showing that they’re either too fucking stupid to read the text they scrolled past to join the group, or that they think they’re above the rules. Neither one of those things is remotely attractive to a submissive with any sense of self-worth or self-preservation. Think about it for five seconds – there is simply no insane parallel universe in which allowing someone with a history of disregarding rules to tie you up is a good idea. If a submissive is willing to put themselves in that position, they’re either stupid or self-destructive. Neither one of those things is sexy! Why on earth would you post a personal ad with absolutely no hope of bringing you anyone a reasonable person would ever want to play with?

Female supremacists also irritate the hell out of me. Yes, it’s a personal belief, but it’s a fucking stupid personal belief with absolutely no basis in reality. If you spout that kind of bullshit, you are no better than the misogynistic douchebags you hate so much. I firmly believe that people who insist that their race or gender makes them special cling to that belief because on some level they know there is absolutely nothing else worthwhile about them. Instead of talking about how great you are because of the way you were born, take up a fucking hobby. Build up your self-esteem by being good at something, not by talking out your ass.

Men who believe in female supremacy also annoy me, but mostly I just think they’re pitiful. You must really hate yourself if you believe that even the most shallow and self-centered woman is somehow better than you, and that’s just sad.

Speaking of self-centeredness, it’s a pretty common failing of dominant people. I’ve personally seen far too many dominants who simply don’t care about anyone else’s well being. Back when the debate about bringing back birthday spankings at the munches was going on in my local scene, a few local dominants made it painfully clear that they were interested only in their own enjoyment of public spankings, and everyone who was uncomfortable with involving bystanders in a group scene or felt pressured to take part could go eat a bag of dicks. Labeling yourself dominant does not magically make you more important than everyone else. Believing that it does makes you deluded and unspeakably stupid in addition to being horribly self-centered.

Obviously insecure dominants also do all sorts of stupid shit. Here’s a tip: if you were really all that dominant, you wouldn’t have to tell everyone about it. If you think loudly telling everyone how very very domly you are will make them believe  you, you’re kidding yourself. Trying to boss strangers around is also pathetic and a sign of insecurity. Again, if you need to prove how dominant you are, the problem is you, not other people’s failure to live up to your expectations. Acting like a douchebag impresses precisely no-one worth impressing, but by all means keep it up if you want everyone to know how insecure you are. There’s surely a ‘submissive’ out there willing to tell you what an amazing dom you are if you’ll just do everything he wants exactly the way he wants it.

What’s your least favourite stupid dom trick? I’m sure I’m missing some.

8 thoughts on “Douchebag Dominants

  1. “but by all means keep it up if you want everyone to know how insecure you are.”

    I prefer to let everyone know how insecure I am by telling them how insecure I am. It’s just as annoying as being douchey, but at least I’m not an asshole. (At least I think I’m not an asshole, but then again, I’m not sure because I’m also insecure.) 🙂

    “It drives me crazy when dominant people post personal ads in groups that clearly say ‘no personal ads’ in the rules.”

    My favorite is when people post “I will NOT accept any friend requests without unless I know you, we’ve shared conversation, and we’ve met in real life” on their profile in big red letters… but then they have 1,312 friends. My hunch is they aren’t really friends with all 1,312 people. This isn’t limited to dominants, but it’s a little douchey nonetheless.

    • Go Stabbity! Loved the part about insecure dominants, I just commented in a FL thread something similar before visiting here.

  2. You’ve covered several of my major ones! The only one I can think of right now is the slashy talk. Whether it’s from a D or an s, it’s stupidly annoying for the same reasons: I didn’t agree to engage in that kink with you, so stop it already!

    Most of the list of points applies equally to either D or s offenders, I’d say. 🙂

  3. This one is annoying to me. I saw this on almost every kink social network site.

    The dominant or submissive who swears you have some gender bias if you dare use words like “he” or “she” and other like words when asking a question in a forum. It is possible that a person forgets to write a question in a non gender specific way. Do you seriously refuse to use these words when asking a boss, or peer a question you don’t know the answer to?

    Another thing I hate is the dominant who insists that you need a protector or a mentor and then insists that they need to be sure you have sex properly by having sex with you. Honestly, that’s not mentoring that’s dominating with no responsibility.

    I don’t like the dominant or sub who only discusses kinks and sex. Its nice to be asked how my day was and to talk about other things occasionaly. And it tells me you are intrested in me as a person and not just me as a sub, sexual partner,or any other pidgeon hole where I have no thoughts or mind.

    There are the big ones for me anyway. By the way I am not directing this rant at any particular person.

    • Oh god, ‘mentors’ who think mentoring *ever* involves sex or play piss me off so much. I did a whole rant about it a while ago.

      Submissive men who only message me to talk about kinks and sex are a huge pet peeve of mine too. If you don’t care about me as a person, I don’t see why I should care about what kind of sex you want to have.

  4. “If you don’t care about me as a person, why should I care what kind of sex you want to have?”

    Lmfao!!! I love that! Its those comments that make me not “sub enough”. My Ma’am strongly disagrees and thinks I’m a good girl. But I whole heartedly agree with the above comment about why I should care for your prefrences when you don’t care about me! And I am a sub, but dammit I have standards. And I LOVE this blog by the way! I agree with almost everything I read here! Very nice points you have!!!

  5. Hello all! This is one hell of an awesome blog! I am a new male sub servant and I am on this blog to learn about the lifestyle and how to attract the Domme/Mistress who is right for me the right way!

    I am also a member of fetlife and a couple of days ago, I Domme/Mistress contacted me to try to get me to become a paid member of a bdsm website that she is an affiliate of. I think she qualifies as a douchebag dominant even though she is a fake! I know I am a blonde, but god damn, it truly amuses me how some people think us newbs are stupid!

    Thanks, for allowing me to rant and rave, it feels gooood!

    • There are sadly many scammers out there. Good on you for recognizing you were about to get scammed, it’s really easy to give in to wishful thinking when you’re excited that someone who says they’re dominant is talking to you.

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