There are plenty of submissive men who want to know how to get their wives/girlfriends to dominate them. One sadly common piece of advice sites like Real Women Don’t Do Housework and (ugh) Elise Sutton give is to talk about how she can make him do all the housework if she’ll dominate him (by wearing uncomfortable outfits for his pleasure and doing everything he wants in bed). This is stupid and offensive on so many levels.
First of all, if you aren’t already doing your fair share of the housework you are simply a bad partner. Fix that before you try talking your partner into fulfilling your kinks, you lazy little shit. When you talk about kink, your partner should not have to ask “What’s in it for me that I shouldn’t already be getting from my partner?” As an aside, that’s a fantastic question to ask yourself no matter how you plan to ‘sell’ male submission to your partner. Whether you’re offering to rub her feet, go to events she likes, cook dinner for her, or let her choose where you go on vacation, you should be able to explain what you’re offering that she shouldn’t already be getting.
Second, and I realize this may be shocking to hear, women actually do have interests that have nothing to do with how tidy their homes are. Using housework as the main selling point for male submission implies that housework is so extraordinarily important to women that they’ll cheerfully act out all of your most extreme fantasies if only you wash a few dishes for them. Not only is that insulting, but it sets up a dynamic in which the man purchases sex from his partner by doing chores. I can’t imagine why feeling obligated to perform a sex act she may have no interest in because her partner mopped the floor wouldn’t turn a woman on.
Third, it ignores everything that’s hot and sexy and amazing about male submission and reduces it to a fucking maid service. How can you look at images like these and decide that housecleaning is the way to sell male submission? Do you assholes not believe that women have any sexual desires, or do you just not care what they might be?
Or is that talking about what might turn any given woman on forces you to acknowledge the fact that not every woman is in fact turned on by male submission? The idea that women can be molded into whatever men want them to be might just be the most offensive part of this whole clusterfuck. While I firmly believe that many more women would identify as dominant if the scene wasn’t so unfriendly to them, it’s simply not true that every woman can become dominant. For starters, some of them are submissive. Deciding that a woman isn’t allowed to be submissive is just as offensive as deciding that she has to be submissive. Some women just aren’t interested in power exchange. Even women who are dominant aren’t magically compatible with all submissive men. There are as many styles of dominance and submission as there are people in the scene, and many of them do not mesh at all well.
If you’re a submissive man in a relationship with a vanilla woman, I sympathize. That’s a tough situation to be in, and it makes sense that you would want to find a way to convince partner to top or dominate you. However, talking about how much housework you’d do for her is not it. Just shut the fuck up about what a great maid you’d be, okay?